CREATIVE WRITING: First (and Last) Date: A Sexist Sestina

I have been meaning to write a poem like this for a long time. I recently performed a piece about the transgender community but until now, I haven’t written much about sexism. I find this strange, since it’s one of the social issues I am most passionate about. I feel there is more to come, especially with how cheeky this poem turned out.


First (and Last) Date: A Sexist Sestina

Ellen Scherer


“So… are you pro-life or pro-choice?

Cuz like, I’m pretty intelligent, you know street smart.

I know if I walked around half naked like some of the sluts

I saw this Halloween, I’d have to assume my ass

was on the line. It would be like a main entrance”


Hold up, Imma let you finish…

but first let me just point out that a woman’s choice

is in her voice. And even though she may never be a fine

looker, she shouldn’t feel obligated to resemble a hooker

and yet, sometimes we do like showing off our butts-


“I’m not saying you women ‘deserve it,’ but

the abortion barbies have it coming. (mouths

on them) Seriously, it’s your choice

I’m sure you’re all brilliant.

assert your independence, because the world’s watching you, sluts.


Then again… most women are too chunky to be sluts.

Maybe if they emptied out that dress a little… but

that means they’d have to fill their whorish mouths

with something other than cheeseburgers and choose

a salad for once, maybe try out some of that smart”


food for thought? “You don’t care to know I’m smart”

My 3.7 is useless to you. “If I told you about my sex life you’d call me a slut.”

you need a new prescription for those “blurred lines,” but

your blind eyes should see that “These words are my own”

and “I can still upgrade you.” Use your discretion,


Choose wisely.

Go ahead, label me “slut”

But you best be ready to bow down bitch.



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